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Things I wish I knew in my early 20s

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1. Focus on becoming useful.

All this stuff about finding happiness and doing what you’re passionate about is a distraction. 

Focus on building your value to the world

Sure, experiment with lots of stuff first, but gradually begin focusing on being great at less…

Happiness will spring out of your sense of contribution

2. Put money aside.

When it seems like you have all the time in the world, saving money seems pointless.

But you will thank your younger self for putting away some cash into savings – because that shit grows and accumulates fast.

Create that account, then make it impossible to take money out.

3. You don’t need ‘fixing.’

Ignore people who say you need to work on your issues.

There’s nothing wrong with you. 

Thinking you have baggage and trauma keeps you in fear and limits you. 

Instead, focus on creating experiences, making others happy, and building cool things.

4. Society wants you weak and depressed.

There is more wisdom in you than in the crowd.

The net result of tuning into what the masses want for you is depression and a one-way ticket to Loser Ville. 

Follow what you know is right and ignore trends.

5. Don’t believe anything’ mainstream.’

Mainstream media is nothing more than entertainment designed to make you fearful so you depend on them for solutions.

The only advice I ever get is from happy people who are doing well.

Trends, the news, dietary advice, mainstream entertainment – all clueless.

6. Don’t become dependent on stimulants.

I always say that the less you need, the freer you are.

Stimulant addiction plays a major role in this, and will severely limit yourself, even seemingly inconsequential and ‘accepted’ forms of stimulation like porn, sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and video games.

Enjoy them occasionally if you need, but never get dependent.

7. Focus on making others happy.

We live in a narcissistic culture. 

You must fight against this hubristic trend that will inevitably lead to its downfall. 

You will win, regardless of the chaos, when you let go of yourself and focus on improving the lives of others.

8. Emotional control is your most important skill.

There’s no better way to ensure a terrible life when you struggle to manage your emotions.

You have work to do if you fly into a rage at a triggering. 

This kind of thing can ruin your entire life.

Developing the habit of remaining calm is the most important skill you can nurture.

9. Start becoming exceptional at one thing.

While everyone else is running around trying hundreds of things and never getting good at any one thing, you’re different.

But don’t sacrifice becoming a master at any one thing in the process.

The world lacks focused expertise, whether in fixing cars, marketing, plumbing, writing, or sales. 

This will get you far.

10. Trust no one, but be gracious.

Trusting no one doesn’t mean you’re a sociopath, it means you protect your time, energy and resources. 

You needn’t grow bitter.

You can be pleasant and courteous, but you can never assume trust from anyone. That’s ok.

Humans aren’t perfect, but you must remain rational and careful at every step.

11. Stop stopping.

Few are capable of finishing what they start. 

They get excited about some novelty, but the excitement soon wears off and they’re on to the next shiny thing.

Reps in anything will compound. 

So you must find strength in staying with boredom. 

Consistency is then inevitable, which lies at the heart of true success.

12. Don’t make decisions that could trap you for decades.

If there’s a chance you could make a very costly decision, avoid making it.

If you’re willing to deal with the worst possible outcome, then by all means, go for it.

But if you understand of what you’re getting into is even 5% hazy, steer clear.

13. Train your body.

Getting healthy shouldn’t be a habit you start in your thirties. It begins now.

Not only will your older body thank you for training and eating well, but you will spend your twenties feeling x4 better than everyone else.

You will gain a massive advantage over your hungover and anxious comrades.

14. Leave home.

If leaving your home town or country makes you nervous, that’s even more reason to do it. 

Travel shaped my character like little else, and I’m so grateful for spending most of my twenties living overseas.

You aren’t free if you can’t stomach the idea of being geographically flexible, especially in this chaotic world.

I’ve collected adventures and friendships across the globe, and this serves me and the man I am today.

DISCIPLINE 101

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Show up daily

Discipline is built through repetition. 

Being consistent helps you build new habits which make it easier to stay focused on your goals.

Every day is a new day, you need to keep putting in the work

Design your environment for success

Make desirable behaviours easy and attractive, whilst making everything else more difficult.

It’s easier to go to the gym in the morning when you’ve laid out your gear the night before

Rely on habits (not motivation)

Motivation is a great energy boost that’ll help you at the beginning of your journey but it doesn’t last long.

But, habits make it easy to be consistent and stay disciplined—optimise for the long term

Use stepping stones (to reach your goals)

Big goals can be daunting and can feel impossible to achieve.

Instead, focus on setting short-term targets that’ll be easier to reach—seeing progress will motivate you to keep going towards your main goal

Make it rewarding

Staying disciplined isn’t easy.

It’s important to reward yourself and celebrate little wins along your journey.

If you don’t enjoy what you do, your discipline will eventually drop off

Build a support network

The easiest way to stay consistent with something is to have people counting on you or cheering for you.

The support of other people will motivate you to keep going, even when you feel like quitting

Narrow your focus

Don’t fall into the trap of spreading yourself too thin.

Keep things simple—you’ll have less to focus on which makes it easier to stay disciplined

Focus on yourself

Don’t compare your progress to other people—there are always going to be people behind you and people ahead.

Forget about them.

Worry about making yourself a little bit better than yesterday.

Use the 5-minute rule

If you have a simple task that takes under 5 minutes—do it right away.

Get the easy tasks off your list so you have time to focus on your more important work

Progress is better than the perfect plan

The time it takes to make a perfect plan is time you could use to make progress towards your goal.

You can’t plan for everything, so don’t try—take action and gather experience instead

Enjoy the moment 

The present is the only time you have—enjoy it.

It’s hard to stay disciplined if you’re always worried about the future or stressing about things that have happened already.

Live in the moment

Be flexible

Life’s unpredictable—not everything will happen the way you want.

Be prepared for that fact. 

Have backup plans and be prepared to change course quickly.

Discipline doesn’t mean sticking to a bad plan, you need the flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances

Understand your weaknesses 

Self-awareness is a powerful tool to build discipline.

When you know the areas you need to improve, you can actively work to get better.

Discipline is built when you tackle your weaknesses head-on, instead of avoiding them.

Focus on your circle of control

Worrying about things outside of your control causes unnecessary stress and anxiety that can hold you back.

Discipline means worrying about things you can impact, and forgetting about the rest

LIFE Advice

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12 LESSONS IN LIFE 1

Stay Away from Anger, it hurts only you!
It doesn’t solve anything.
It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything. 2

If you are right then there is no need to get angry, and if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry. 3

Patience with family is love, Patience with others is respect, Patience with self is confidence and Patience with God is faith. 4

Never think hard about the PAST, it brings tears….
Don’t think about the FUTURE, it brings fear….
Live this moment with a smile, it brings cheers. 5

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to make us or break us. The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors. 6

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?
So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand till God’s appointed time. 7

God has sent us all in pairs, someone somewhere is made for you. So wait for the right time and right moment. 8

A satisfied life is better than a successful life because our success is measured by others. But our satisfaction is measured by our own soul, mind & heart. 9

Life is like a notebook.
Two pages are already written by God.
First page is birth. Last page is Death. Center pages are empty. So, fill them with SMILE & LOVE. 10

Life is beautiful.
One day, one hour and one minute spent, will not come again in your entire life. Avoid fights, anger and speak lovely to every person. 11

Nothing is permanent.
Don’t stress yourself too much because no matter how bad the situation is, it will change. 12

Life is an echo.
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others, exists in you.
Don’t judge – so you will not be judged. Radiate and give love and love will come back to you.

Things to teach your children

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As a parent, you fear that you failed to prepare your kids for life on their own.

Preparing well for anything starts with covering some of the basics.

17 simple life kills your kids must have:

  1. How to do laundry:

Teach your kids how to wash and iron their own clothes. 

It’s hard to succeed in life wearing dirty, smelly clothes

  1. How to save and spend:

Schools don’t teach financial literacy.

You’ve got to teach your kids how to handle money.

Simple things like organizing money. 

10% put aside for giving.

10% for savings.

Small habit. Big, lifelong payoff

  1. How to introduce yourself:

Your kids will spend their lives making first impressions.

Make sure they know (and practice) the basics:

– Firm handshake

– Look the other person in the eye

– Speak their name clearly

– Repeat the other person’s name

– Finish with a pleasantry

  1. How to give a presentation:

Basic presentation skills are the foundation of a successful career.

Home is the perfect practice field.

Whether it’s verbal book reports or speeches about the merits of dessert,

Help your kids overcome the fear of speaking to a group.

  1. How to care for a vehicle:

At a minimum, kids need to know how to:

-Check oil. 

– Change a tire

– Check and add tire pressure

– Interpret the car warning lights

  1. How to complete minor home repairs:

I was taught nothing about home repairs growing up.

Which cost me a flooded kitchen and other shameful things. 

Most minor home repairs are shamefully simple.

Pick a few to tackle yourself.

And let your kids “help” while you do them

  1. How to plan a meal:

Fast food is expensive and unhealthy.

Teach your kids how to plan a meal from scratch, make a grocery list, and navigate the food market or supermarket 

A simple way to teach this is to give each child one meal per month to plan.

Then turn it into a fun learning event

  1. How to resolve relational problems:

The happiness of our lives is deeply tied to the quality of our relationships.

But all relationships run into trouble.

It’s your job to teach your kids how to work through them.

First and foremost, teach them how to apologize and forgive

  1. How to make a complex decision:

Kids must launch into the world confident that they can make tough calls.

Do *you* have that confidence?

If not, start there.

If you do, let them in on your decision-making process.

Then help them apply it in their world

  1. How to cook:

Kitchens are intimidating places.

With a little effort, it can become a place your kids feel comfortable. 

But it requires an invitation and some patience.

As you’re cooking, ask them to join in.

Work together, explain what you’re doing, and let them help

  1. How to push through pain:

My dream is to raise kids who are thick-skinned but soft-hearted.

Which is why I’m a huge advocate for team sports.

They force your kids to be uncomfortable.

If they can learn to keep going when things get tough, 

They’ll become unstoppable

  1. How to say “no” and “not yet”:

Many adult problems arise from our inability to say “no.”

We’re overcommitted, exhausted, and in debt because of it.

Teaching your kids to delay gratification and say no when necessary is critical.

Teach them to embrace loving limits.

  1. How to small talk:

If I ran the world, there would be a “small talk” class taught in every school.

All relationships – business and personal – start with small talk.

Yet so few people feel comfortable striking up a conversation with a stranger.

Make sure your kids do. 

         14. How to organize:

Kids don’t come into the world with complex systems for staying organized.

They’re wired for chaos and mess.

If you don’t correct it, you’re doing them a disservice.

Whether it’s their closet or notes from class,

Help your kids learn the power of tidiness

15.How to navigate transportation:

I have a friend who has a rule for his kids:

Once you hit 13, you’re in charge of logistics when we travel.

He teaches them:

– How an airport works

– How to call and use taxis

– How to catch a bus

By 16, they’re seasoned travelers

16. How to discern what’s good for them:

Years ago I wrote my definition of maturity:

Being able to see the difference between what’s good for you and what’s not,

And consistently choosing the good.

Not everything you desire is beneficial.

Help your kids learn to choose wisely

17. How to see the larger story:

I’m a believer in raising kids in a religious faith.

Yes, there are problems with it.

But it teaches them something incredibly powerful:

I’m part of a larger story. Everything is not about me. 

HiIt will help them put things in their proper place

THINGS TO TEACH YOUR SON

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THINGS TO TEACH YOUR SON… 

1. How to clean and organize their space

A clean and organized man is focused. 
A disorganized man is a turn off.

Teach them how to;
• Make their beds
• Clean their rooms
• Stay clean and neat

It’s attractive.

2. How to cook

A man who knows several recipes is attractive.
There’s also no reason they should marry young because they can’t cook

3. How to dance 

Men dance, but not twerking on tiktok, Instagram and snapchat.
If you can’t, send them to a dance class. 
The world has enough soy already. 
Raise a strong son who can dance with his wife

4. How to talk to girls

You can’t teach him how to be a man.
But dealing with women is just as important as being a man.

He ought to know;

– When to talk
– What to say
– How to

You’ll give him an unfair advantage over his peers.

5. How to be kind but not overly kind 

Men grow thinking they should be saviors.
Let him know when to be kind and to who.

6. How to talk when it matters

Teach your son the importance of dealing with their issues before expecting anyone to help them. 

A “needy man” is despised.
As men, they should only tell enough but listen a lot


7. How to do laundry 

To raise an all-round son, he needs the basics. 
Most basic skills are boring but they’re vital.

8. How to be outgoing 

Your son should be out of his room unless it’s bedtime. 

The more he’s alone behind closed doors, the higher the chances he’s;

• Watching porn
• Jerking off to nude strangers online 
• Arguing with strangers on socials

He’d rather be with friends

9. How to stand on his own 

Your son is attached to your care and attention. 
Make it clear it’s not forever. 
He’ll have to stand on his own.
Life might be kinky but it’s fun

These things are rare nowadays. Raise your boy to be a man who can handle himself within the world around him