Confidence: The Wi-Fi Signal You Can Actually Improve

Let’s be honest. There are days you walk into class feeling like you own the whole school… hair laid, uniform crisp, notes done. And then there are days you want to slide under the desk and become one with the floor, especially when the teacher says, “It’s exam time!!!” and everyone’s book opens except yours, because yours is… well, let’s not talk about it.

Here’s the truth nobody tells you…nobody is born confident. Confidence is not a gift some kids got at birth while you were busy being allocated shyness. Feels like it is but it’s not… Confidence is a skill. Like maths, like football or like learning to balance a spoon of githeri without spilling on your white shirt (a true exam, if you ask me because some eat and leave evidence all over their clothes).

So grab your pen, because class is in session.

Step 1: Accept Yourself…. Yes, Even the Awkward Bits

First things first….stop comparing yourself to others. Your deskie hops from desk to desk socializing and STILL tops the maths test? Amazing for them. But guess what you probably have a strength they don’t. Maybe you’re the one everyone calls when they need a listening ear, or you can draw, or you can explain something better than the teacher. Know what you’re good at and water it like the way your friend eats pens…. But with more zeal

Embrace your imperfections. Nobody is perfect. Not your crush, not the head boy, not even the kid who seems to have it all figured out. Messing up is part of the syllabus of life. Fail, adjust, try again that’s the formula. What matters is not repeating the same mistake and calling it a “strategy.”

And please, watch your inner voice. When your brain whispers “I can’t,” answer it like a boss.. “Sasa we ndiye nani?” Replace “I can’t” with “I’ll try” and “I’m improving.” Say it until you believe it: “I’m not there yet, but I’m in my learning space.”
You will get there.

Step 2: Small Goals, Big Energy
You don’t climb Mt. Kenya in one step (and trust me, your lungs would file a complaint). Break big tasks into small ones. Don’t “study the whole term in one night” that’s how you end up in the exam hall writing your own theories. Study in short sessions. Finish one topic. Celebrate it. Did you finish your homework on time today? That’s a win, my friend. Wins stack up like chapati, layer by layer.

Step 3: Sharpen Your Tools

Confidence loves preparation. Want to stop shaking during exams? Prepare well it’s that simple. Scared of speaking? Join the debate club, present to your mirror and to your bestie, then start answering questions in class and participating in discussions…. slowly by slowly is the pace, as the wise old man once said. And learn something new like a sport, a hobby, a skill. Which club can you join next term? Go on, try one. Hidden talents don’t introduce themselves; you have to go find them. I once tried joining my neighbourhood running group…. After a few minutes, my heart started pounding and said, “you either stop or I stop (I see you laughing at me)” I stopped but then joining a walking club… The other day we walked for 45 kilometres. I didn’t know I can walk that far. So try and see.

Step 4: Stand Tall, Smile, Shower

Your body is a confidence cheat code. Stand tall, shoulders back, smile, and make eye contact. Your brain is very gullible if you act confident, it starts to believe it. Practice makes permanent..
And yes, we must address the elephant in the staffroom… personal hygiene… Shower. Use deodorant. Wear clothes that make you feel good. It’s hard to feel like a king when you’re smelling like yesterday’s struggles. Cleanliness is confidence’s best friend.

Step 5: Leave the Comfort Zone (It Will Survive)

Volunteer to answer in class even if you’re not sure. Try new activities. Face your fears gradually, like eating pilau with increasing amounts of pilipili kachumbari… Each small challenge makes you tougher. The comfort zone is nice, but nothing grows there… Not even sukuma or weeds.

Step 6: Choose Your People Wisely

Hang around friends who cheer for you, not those who clap when you fall. Be with people who want what’s best for you the ones who say “sawa, try again,” not “we knew you’d fail.” And find mentors.. this is important…a teacher, a coach, a family member who believes in you even on your off days. (And hey don’t miss Danny’s Desk. There’s always something to learn here. Look at me toot my own horn)

Step 7: Criticism Is Not a Personal Attack
When you’re corrected, don’t go into defense mode like a cornered mongoose. Not all feedback is a declaration of war. Use it to improve. Ignore unnecessary negativity and focus on growth. The people who criticize constructively are basically giving you free life upgrades take them.

Step 8: Sleep, Move, Breathe
Your body and mind are roommates…when one is struggling, the other hears everything. Exercise regularly, Walk fast, run a lap around the field, play with your friends. Movement melts stress….Sleep well…. and no, transnighting before exams is not a study technique, it’s a self-sabotage technique. Sleep is when your brain files everything you read. Don’t deny it the filing cabinet time.
And try mindfulness…meditate, journal, write down your achievements. Yes, write them down. On paper. It counts. It helps

Step 9: Fake It Till You Become It

Act confident even when you’re trembling inside. Stand like you know what you’re doing, and people will respond positively which then makes you…actually confident. It’s a beautiful, slightly sneaky cycle. Use it.

Step 10: Remember….Confidence Is Practiced, Not Inborn

Even the most confident people you admire had to practice. They failed, stumbled, got laughed at, and kept going…..Practice makes permanent…as we say here… Keep pushing forward.

Bonus Tip: Start a “Wins Journal”
Every day, write down one thing you did well. “Spoke up in class.” “Finished homework on time.” “Didn’t laugh when my friend answered wrong….that’s growth!” When you’re feeling low, open that journal and remind yourself….I have receipts. I keep tabs on my wins. You will be unstoppable. Achievements are confidence builders.

You’ve got this. Confidence doesn’t arrive in a matatu one morning… it grows with action. Start small, stay consistent, and keep going.

Want advice on a specific challenge? Reach out to Danny’s Desk:
daniel_gitonga@outlook.com
http://www.dannysdesk.org
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